Bidding on the Bachelor Read online

  “Exactly.”

  “And I think the menu we’ve chosen will go beyond meeting her expectations. I dare say that Bonnie is going to love what you have planned.”

  Mrs. Reynolds was teetering now. Carissa could feel it. Time to go in for the kill. “However, as insurance, I’m willing to offer you a twenty percent discount off the price we discussed. Plus, if you don’t like the food or you’re unhappy with my services, I will give you a full refund.”

  Carissa’s palms began to sweat while she waited for the reply. Not only because of Mrs. Reynolds’s possible answer but because taking a hit on this large party would not help her very fragile bottom line.

  “This all sounds very reasonable, Carissa,” Mrs. Reynolds finally said. “Okay, we have a deal.”

  “Great. I’ll email you a revised contract as soon as we get off the phone.”

  After they hung up and Carissa sent off the new paperwork, she sat back in her seat. The 20 percent discount hurt, but not as much as losing the business altogether. Besides, she knew Mrs. Reynolds, her daughter and all the guests at the shower would love her culinary creations.

  She bit her lip as she considered what had just transpired. She’d single-handedly saved the day. More than that, she’d taken her first step toward independence. No one else got her out of that jam. She’d done that herself.

  “Go me,” she said into the empty kitchen, which she followed up with a happy dance.

  She felt good. In fact, she felt inspired to make some other changes. Being self-sufficient meant knowing when to admit you’d been wrong and taking the extra step of apologizing.

  Reaching for one of her favorite baking books, she flipped to the pie section. Up next on the plate was a huge apology to Jasper Dumont.

  * * *

  Jasper decided to take a risk. Two risks, actually. The first was going over to Carissa’s house to begin with. The second came to him as he drove by the local pizzeria en route to her aunt’s cottage. He promptly pulled a U-turn and swung back around to it. Twenty minutes later he was back on course.

  When she opened the door, a surprised look crossed her face and her mouth opened into an appealing little O. “Jasper, I can’t believe you’re standing there. How crazy.”

  Intrigued with her response, he said, “Crazy good or crazy bad?”

  She considered. “Crazy, crazy. I have something for you. In fact, I was just on my way to come see you.”

  She tugged on an apron she was wearing. Under it was a pair of comfy-looking gray pants and a turquoise T-shirt that clung to all the right places. The outfit should have been frumpy, but with her body, the sweats were as good as wearing a black-tie gown. Her hair was piled on top of her head and there was a smear of flour on one cheek. His fingers itched to reach out and brush it away.

  Instead, he produced the large pizza box from behind his back. The smell of the cheese and tomato sauce had his mouth watering on the drive over. He saw interest piqued in her eyes as she took in the pizza.

  “I have something for you, too. I hope you still like your pizza the same way. Extra cheese and anchovies?” he asked.

  The corners of her mouth twitched until she relented and let the smile blossom. “Still my favorite.” She pointed a finger. “And the best topping of all time ever for pizza.”

  “So you always said. Can I come in?”

  She stepped back. “What kind of idiot doesn’t let a pizza in the front door?”

  “Good point.”

  He took in the cottage as they made their way back to the kitchen. He chuckled. “I haven’t been in this house in ages.” He picked up a small clock nestled inside a large seashell that was bedecked with glitter and shook his head. “Same old Val.”

  She grinned. “It’s comforting, really. She hung wallpaper in the bathroom. Peach wallpaper with flowers. Also, I think she may be growing weed in the backyard.”

  “No kidding?” He stopped, tilted his head up, his nose twitching. “What’s that smell?”

  She smiled. “It’s your surprise.” Moving to the left, she revealed the source of the aroma. “I made a peach pie for you.”

  He grinned and pumped his fist in the air. “My favorite. But what’s the occasion?”

  “What was the occasion for the pizza?” She nodded at the box.

  “You first,” he said.

  Her smile faded. “An apology. I’m so sorry for accusing you of outing me to the Bayside Blogger. Things have been so tough this year and coming back here and...”

  She trailed off when he raised a hand. “You don’t have to go into all of that, Car.”

  She removed her apron. “I hurt your feelings.”

  “You did,” he admitted easily.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I accept.”

  She cocked her head. “Just like that?”

  He nodded. “Just like that.”

  She threw her apron onto the table. “You are infuriating. You’re not even making me work for it.”

  “Not my style.” He leaned over and wiped the streak of flour from her skin, allowing himself to linger there a moment longer than necessary. Then he met those intoxicating gray eyes. “I care about you, Car. I always have. I always will. Your being a bit angry for one night isn’t going to change that. You’d been hurt, and I get it. Even if I didn’t like bearing the brunt.”

  He’d thrown her off balance with that. He liked puzzling her. She got the cutest little line on her forehead when she tried to figure out something that baffled her.

  “You’re too sweet, Jasp,” she finally said.

  “Sweet?” He nabbed a piece of the piecrust and popped it into his mouth. “I’m other things, too.”

  “Yes, you are.” She batted his fingers away from the pie. “Now your turn. What’s with the pizza?”

  He shrugged. “Just like that night in the bar, I thought you could use a friend.”

  “A friend, huh? Being my friend wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain blogger’s recent article about me?”

  He opened his mouth but quickly shut it. He coughed. “I think we need to eat this pizza before it gets cold. Plus, the sooner we eat this, the sooner we can eat that.” He pointed at the pie.

  Carissa offered him a knowing smile but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she went to a cabinet and came back with two plates and a stack of napkins. “How about we eat this out on the deck? It’s a nice night.”

  While he brought the pizza and plates outside, she grabbed a bottle of wine and glasses. A few moments later she emerged with an uncorked bottle of red.

  “This might be the best meal ever,” she said after she took her first bite. Her eyes were closed and she made the most seductive sound he’d ever heard. Jasper’s mouth watered yet again, only it had nothing to do with the pizza this time.

  They ate in companionable silence for a while. But after Carissa finished her second piece, she took a long pull of wine and turned to him.

  “I’m catering a bridal shower. Elsie Reynolds read the Bayside Blogger’s column today and tried to fire me.”

  He felt his eyebrow rise. “Tried to?”

  “I didn’t let her.”

  Good girl. He put his plate down and faced her. “Was the article true?”

  “You mean, is it true that I don’t have any catering experience?” She was staring straight ahead at the water. “Yep, pretty much.”

  “Car, why didn’t you tell me that? You know I would have helped you.”

  Her head whipped around and her eyes focused on his. “That’s exactly why I didn’t. I spent the last decade completely out of control, dependent on someone else. Finally, I have the opportunity to gain some independence, some freedom.”

  And she needed to do this for herself, he realized. Jasper got that.
He’d been the same way when he’d finally started applying himself in college.

  “She tried to fire you and you didn’t let her. Looks like you are in business for yourself.” He tapped his wineglass against hers and reveled in the smile that blossomed over her face. “Carissa,” he began, but she jumped up suddenly, as if sensing the mood shift between them.

  “I think it’s time for pie.”

  He decided to give her a break. “I think it’s always time for pie.”

  A few minutes later they were both finishing up their slices of what Jasper deemed the very best peach pie he’d ever had. And that included the Dumont chef’s masterpiece.

  “Elsie Reynolds is very lucky she kept you. Damn, that was good,” he said, dropping his fork on the plate.

  She laughed. “I’m glad you like it. The rest is yours to take home and eat in the middle of the night while standing in your kitchen naked.”

  “Who says I stand in my kitchen naked?”

  “You don’t?”

  “Nope, if I’m eating pie naked, it’s always in the living room.”

  Her grin lit up the deck, which was growing dark thanks to the diminishing sun. “Oh, sorry to have mixed that up,” she finished on a laugh.

  He smiled, enjoying the happiness of just being with her. “Sometimes when we joke around like this, it feels like you never left.”

  She nodded, but once again she let her gaze slide toward the water. “I know what you mean. It feels so easy with you.” She rose and walked toward the end of the deck. When she faced him again, her eyes were clouded, her face serious. “I need to tell you something, Jasp.”

  “Is it something that will end with more promises of pie?”

  Her chest rose and fell as if she was silently laughing. “It’s something that should end with the promise of a dozen more pies.”

  He crossed the deck, stood beside her. “Then, I’m definitely listening.”

  “This isn’t the easiest thing for me to talk about, but I want to tell you why I broke up with you after graduation.”

  He hadn’t been expecting that. Part of him had wanted to know the answer to this puzzle more than he wanted to breathe. But another part felt anxious about finally understanding the answer to something that had been a deep source of hurt for over a decade. Would learning the truth make him feel better or relive the hurt?

  “Okay,” he said tentatively.

  She bit her lip and narrowed her eyes, as if she was trying to figure out where to start. He retrieved their wineglasses, pouring more while he waited. He didn’t really want any more but he needed to do something.

  Carissa accepted the wine. “You know...that is, my dad...well, my dad and I didn’t have the best relationship.”

  “I remember.” He took a sip. “I never really understood why, though. Your dad was fun. He always made me laugh.”

  “He always made everyone laugh.” She pushed a hand through her hair. “He was the life of the party. Everyone loved him. He was witty and clever and charming.”

  “Yes, he was,” Jasper said slowly, wondering where this was going.

  “He was also unreliable.”

  Surprised by that statement, Jasper leaned against the deck and waited for her to continue.

  “I remember being in elementary school, about eight or nine. We were having a career day where our parents came in and talked about their jobs.”

  “I remember that,” he said.

  “Do you remember that my dad didn’t come in to speak to the class? He couldn’t, because he had nothing to talk about. He had no career. It was the first time I remember feeling disappointed by one of my parents. No—” she shook her head “—that’s not quite right. I was embarrassed. I told the class that my dad had gotten sick and couldn’t make it in for career day.”

  Jasper opened his mouth to object but no words came out. As he thought back, he quickly realized that he didn’t know what either of Carissa’s parents had done for work.

  She laughed but the sound was metallic and humorless. “You’re trying to think of what my parents did and you can’t, right? Occasionally my dad would get into business with someone. Usually one of his friends. But it would never last. I honestly think he enjoyed the social aspect of working more than the actual work. Nothing ever stuck. He never had any ambition or desire to better himself.

  “You’re probably wondering how we lived in that big house on the water,” she continued. “They lived off my mom’s trust fund. A rather large trust fund from my grandparents. But even large amounts of money can be mismanaged. That brings me to you.”

  When her eyes met his, Jasper saw pain and anger there. Maybe some unresolved feelings, too.

  “One morning after graduation, my parents sat me down and explained that they’d run out of money. Just like that. It was all gone. Sometime during our senior year, my dad attempted one last-ditch effort with some business venture. He used the money set aside for my education. The venture never took off, just like all the others. And because of that, I had no way to pay for college.”

  His stomach tensed. “Oh, Car. I had no idea.”

  She nodded. “No one did. If I thought the humiliation of elementary career day was bad, it was nothing compared to that morning. I’d gotten into Northwestern and I’d been so excited to go there.”

  “But you did go there. Didn’t you?” he asked.

  “Yes, I did. Aunt Val helped me apply for scholarships, grants, you name it. She bought all the books and supplies I needed for the first year, too. I worked a lot during those four years. When I got married, Preston absorbed a ton of debt. For my twenty-fifth birthday he wrote a check and cleared out my loans.” She snapped her fingers. “Just like that. Debt gone. Memories erased.”

  “But it’s not that easy,” Jasper said.

  “No, it’s not. In a strange way, the experience was good for me. I’d been a spoiled, pampered kid. I don’t regret having to work hard. What I have a hard time with is my parents, particularly my dad. It felt like he had no concept of how much his actions affected others. In that case, me. Plus, they explained that they would be moving away from Bayside. They didn’t want their friends to find out that they had nothing. They live in Maine now. So on top of everything else, I was losing the only home I’d ever known.”

  “You used to say that you hated it here and couldn’t wait to get out,” he reminded her.

  “Oh, Jasp, I was just a kid. I didn’t know what I was saying. I was a bratty girl who dreamed of the stars. And then one morning, I realized just how far away those stars were going to stay.”

  Jasper never imagined that she’d gone through so much with her parents. He was trying to absorb everything but it was a lot to think about. Then she threw one more bomb his way.

  “I’ve told you that you always reminded me of my dad. I think that when all of that happened, I took it out on you. I mean, I didn’t mean to do that. Not consciously anyway.”

  He held up a hand. She looked so young, so vulnerable. “Your dad had just hurt you and stripped away everything you had known and were counting on. You saw similarities between me and your father. So you broke up with me.”

  He was struggling. On the one hand, he wanted to be understanding. Carissa was opening up to him. At the same time, just talking about this was bringing up all that hurt and all that angst; as if a hand had reached into his chest and started squeezing his heart.

  Her eyes welled up with tears. But he watched her take a few breaths and push those tears back down.

  “When the first big betrayal of your life comes from one of your parents, it really messes with you,” she said quietly.

  He reached for her hand and was happy that she let him hold it. “I’m sorry, Car. Sorry you had to go through all that. I wish you would have told me back then. You know my family
would have helped you.”

  She squeezed his fingers. “I was too mortified. I felt so ashamed. And scared.”

  “Where do things stand now with your parents?”

  She shrugged. “Not great. I barely speak to my dad. My mom and I are okay. I guess.”

  “You guess?”

  “I check in with her. But to be honest, I will never understand her. Why did she stay with my dad? He wasted all of her money. He had no ambition. They still live together, as if everything is fine. He didn’t take care of her. Or me.”

  Her voice hitched on that last word. Jasper saw the emotion flooding her face.

  “I was the good child. I never questioned anything. And then I got married to someone I thought I loved. I thought Preston adored me. I thought he was the opposite of my father. I thought he would do anything for me. Maybe he would have. But in the end, it didn’t matter. He didn’t love me, either.”

  And that was the heart of the mystery that was Carissa Blackwell. Jasper felt like his eyes had just been opened after a very long time of staying firmly shut. Carissa was this amazing, beautiful, smart woman with an abundance of confidence on the outside. But underneath it all, she was hurting. Her trust and her heart had been betrayed. She just wanted to be loved. That was all.

  And he understood perfectly. Because under all of his flirting and bravado, Jasper craved the same thing. Love.

  He ached for her. For that little girl in elementary school, for the teenager who almost had her life taken away, for the wife who’d been cheated on.

  She pointed at him. “Don’t do that.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t feel sorry for me. I am the one who was awful to you. I’m sorry for the way I broke up with you. I’m so sorry if I caused you any pain.”

  He let out a frustrated sound. “Of course you caused me pain. I loved you, you broke up with me out of the blue, and I was confused. But given everything you’ve said tonight, I can’t help but feel for you. Not pity. I just feel for you.”

  And he did. More than that, he was suddenly seeing Carissa in a whole new light.

  * * *